A good week

I love May.  Mother's day, our anniversary and my birthday all happen in May -- which means I can be selfish and spoiled the entire month. What, doesn't everybody? Moving on. In no particular order, here are pictures from my week and weekend for your enjoyment.

This kid LOVES the swings. Almost as much as he loves the train.

In true "Jack Handey" fashion (have you ever read his deep thoughts? The one about Disneyland?) we failed as parents -- a we got him all excited to ride Trax to feed the ducks (at Gardner Village) only to realize the train was not running on Memorial Day. He cried, and cried. So we took him to a park instead.

Josh is ALWAYS serious -- see? Geez, relax and have fun a little, will ya? 

Josh likes to take out-of-focus pictures of me. This one was the least out-of-focus, and shows off my giant rear end. A win-win in my book.

 My face just looks like that most of the time. It's a hot look this summer.

Also a hot look this summer -- static-cling slide hair.

ah crap, he's turning into the hulk. I hope he doesn't rip his shirt, that thing probably cost me $3.

I love my sister -- despite the embarrassing birthday presents and steamy romance novels she gives me.  I also love her baby belly.

My 9 year old sister is getting married? I don't know how these things happen. Yes, I'll go ahead and take all the credit for her beauty.

6 years!

If Josh and I hadn't already won the award for best couple ever, cutest child ever, America's best fans ever, and even best chicken pillow recipe ever, we'd also be winning an award for most exciting date nights ever. However those people that hand out the awards just won't give us any more! We don't have a place for it in our very full trophy room, anyway.

Friday was our 6th anniversary! Sure, time flies but at the same time, I don't even think I can remember way back to our wedding day. That's asking too much of me in my geriatric old age (especially after tomorrow, which is my 98th birthday. Yes, I guess i do look good for my age) So, since it was our anniversary, we decided to change out of our pajamas and do something extra exciting! Our anniversary started out like this:

Josh should also win awards for picking out the prettiest flower arrangements for me, like all.the.time. But, alas, he has already won too many awards, remember?

That night we went to our yearly romantic dinner to Market Street Grill, because we are fancy like that. And to maintain with the fanciness of the evening, we headed across the street for some battle-to-the-death mini golf. If you didn't know this about Josh and I, we like to wager everything. Like, I bet him ridiculous amounts of money if he can eat a piece of pineapple (his mortal enemy) and he bets me our unborn children that I can't get a hole in one golfing right-handed (I'm a lefty, if you didn't know... it's what makes me cool). Josh plays to win -- and I lost, bad. But once I threw a public tantrum, including kicking my feet and throwing things at other people's heads, he did not make me shave my head. Phew.

So what if we were out of things to do by 9:00? We picked up Weston, went home and I fell asleep by 9:30. I know, you can't handle the romance!!!

Have you ever seen anything cuter than us, besides little baby ducklings???

Note: All of these INCREDIBLE photos were taken with my phone. I know, it's a shame that my self-portrait isn't of better quality. Sniff.

Because of my job, I just so happen to be an expert on divorce. BUT because I'm married to Josh, I also happen to be quite the expert on marriage. Here are just a few things I've learned in the very lengthy 6 years I've been married:

* It is not a vacation unless a beach is involved. Don't even try to go somewhere like Jackson Hole, or Ohio.  No palm trees? No vacation.

* Going on vacation means surgery. So, if Josh wants to spend time lying on the beach, he also has to sacrifice a body part. Good thing he has a lot of extra fingers and toes.

* "cooking dinner" does translate to include a big bowl of cereal.

* Cereal included, I am the world's best chef.

* Winning an argument isn't about "winning". It's about keeping points and holding grudges forever. What, you don't do this? It's totally healthy.

* Really cool people like Josh don't get embarrassed. So don't even try to embarrass him -- or you just will end up embarrassing yourself, and then going home and curling up in a corner, rocking back and forth.

* I have not learned anything else in my 6 years of marriage. That is it. I think I've been sleeping the rest of the time.

 Don't worry, I'll write a book about all of this -- and when I make millions off my sound marriage advice, I'll buy you a car. Probably a convertible, even.

Today is one of those days where I sit here, stressed about everything I have to get done this week (before we live for DIS-NEY-LAND!!! HOLLA!!!!) so instead of doing any of it... I am sitting here feeling pathetic. And eating waaaaay more than I should. 

So remember how I had another 1/2 marathon in March? Well, I did. It was hard. But, I knocked off 4 minutes from my previous time, despite the wind and my utter suckiness at the end -- and finished in 2:07. Here is proof of my awesomeness:

Confession: these photos were taken (by Whitney's dad, who was the best cheerleader ever) during the first 4 miles of the race, when I had not given up on life yet. Being very thoughtful of your eyes, and being vehemently opposed to all things horrendous, I am not going to post any pictures after this point because... well, I look like a dead, jiggly piece of trash. Poor Whitney's dad, having to document that on [digital] film.
Side note: one day I will have legs like my running buddy, Whitney (next to me).

Since running day, (well, really before -- for quite a few months) I have been having problems with the toes on my right foot. My foot has caused me to become BFF with my podiatrist, who gave me a cortisone shot in my foot last week without giving me adequate time to prepare mentally. If I had not already died in the race, I died again when I got this shot.  I have not run since I got this shot because I was so traumatized, so here's to hoping he has fixed my foot...

Remember how clear at the beginning of this post I said we're going to Disneyland??? I'm really excited. This week is going to be really long.


Ooh, ooh, so here's one more thing off my 30 before 30 list: my dearest Grandma Snazzy is teaching me to crochet! My first 'lesson' was yesterday, and let's just say I didn't do so well.  I'm wondering if I got into some paint chips when I was young, since, between the way I look when I run, and the way I struggle crocheting.... 

Dear Future Girlfriends

DEAR  PARENTS OF [WESTON'S FUTURE GIRLFRIEND(S)]:

I hereby Solemnly Swear to teach my son to keep his tongue in his mouth before he is of dating age. 

Anyone else out there with waggly-tongued toddlers?

I know everyone has missed me dreadfully, and honestly I have MISSED blogging. This is what I have been doing instead:

*I did in fact run my 1/2 marathon on October 15th (2011 -- how embarrassed am I that I did not put that down?) I beat my goal by 19 minutes!!! Wahoo! It was the hardest thing I have ever done.... Yet, I have signed up to do another one on March 31st. What is wrong with me? Training in the winter sucks. I thought I couldn't get much worse-looking than when I run, since my face turns bright red.  But that was before I started running in the cold. Frozen snot, frozen sweat, and still red-faced. Children run and hide when they see me coming. 

*Weston turned 13. Wait, is that right? It's so hard to keep track of these days.

*Then we had Thanksgiving, Christmas, and 'winter' blah's. Ice cream is the only thing that gets me through.

*My newest nephew, Liam was born on January 29th. I died from his cuteness. It took me a week of eating ice cream to recover. Also, he has already spoken his first words (I know, at only a week old, he is advanced!) They were "Becca is my favorite". Common first phrase among newborns, I know.

*Really, I don't eat that much ice cream. I wish I did, though. 

Coming Soon to a Party Near You:

....as long as he can get over this nasty hand, foot & mouth.  Poor lil' guy.  (has anyone else's kids had that?  It's awful!  any advice????)

Oh, and in case you were wondering, I made it 13.1 miles!  I did it!  Faster than I expected, but I still know I can do better the next time.  My knee hurt, but it held out, thanks to some help I had (from above).  

Wish Me LUCK!!!!

.

My half marathon is on Saturday.

I am so nervous that I have recurring dreams that I'm running in the race, and 4 miles in, I realize I forgot to put my shoes on, and then I also realize I forgot to wear a shirt...

I have also developed a bad case of 'runner's knee'.  I blame it on the crazy roller coasters at Knott's Berry Farm.  (we had soooo much fun on vacation last week! I  may even post about it in a year and a half.)  So now, I may or may not cross the finish line crawling.  But I'm going to finish.  Unless I really do forget to wear a shirt.  

Blame it on the....

Remember my 30 Before 30 list?  I am writing to tell you that I've done nothing on that list. 

But.  I am working on that.  My wonderful neighbor and friend, Whitney* (check out her running blog here) has pressured, no, threatened, I mean CONVINCED me to run a 1/2 marathon in October.  As in 13 miles.  As in 12 1/2 miles more than I can run. This can only mean one thing.

I have lost my mind in my old age. 

I will tell you a story about the one time I tried to run a 5K and I wore bad shoes and I got a bleeding blister and lost 8 pints of blood, and lost the race to the following individuals: 1. My 80 year old husband with a bum knee (he was waiting on knee surgery at the time)  2.  My 52 year old mother in law (but to her credit she is always fit) 3. Our friend Kam, who happened to be pushing his 5-year-old twins in a stroller.  I think I finished in something like 42 minutes.  Please don't judge.

I hung my head in shame for 5 years.

So, now, in an effort to prove that I really am not old enough to enter the alzheimers rest home down the street from my house, I am setting out to finish this thing.  Josh even let me get new running shoes (since I was still wearing ones that had been destroyed by Kona... they had most of the sole left on them!)
Pretty, huh!:

So, as a non runner, I am going to need all of the advice/help/encouragement/threats/bribes from everyone.  What should my diet be like?  I hope I don't run with my butt sticking out.  Or maybe I am supposed to?  If I make my palms flat will I really run faster?  What about music?  If I die during the run will they just kick me over to the curb until the race is over?  See, I don't know anything.  Please help.

*As a side note, I think it's important for you to know that Weston is in love with Whitney's daughter, Katie.  He'll probably ask her to prom next year.

5 YEARS!!!

On May 18, 2006, Josh and I looked like this:



Ah, we were so young, innocent, naive, full of energy, and probably a little bit dumb...

Please note that by the time this picture was taken we had both melted a little bit -- it was 92 degrees the day we got married, which in fact still holds the record for the hottest temp. on this day in Utah...

This was due to the fact that Josh and I are so sizzling.

And then:

24 e.r. visits 

1 college degree

1 new house,

at least 10 gallons of paint

2 new (to me) cars

1 dog (I miss Kona, :( but don't tell!)

3 car accidents

2 beach vacations (really?  that's all?  Now I am sad!!!)

1 cutest-but-most-demanding-child in the world

20 gray hairs (not mine, please I'm still a baby!)

3,400 diapers

and 5 years later....

We look like this.

And that my friends, is what marriage has done to us.

Eyelashes

Reason #15 Weston was supposed to be a girl:

He is ridiculously pretty.  

Is it normal to be jealous of your son's eyelashes?  Because I am.  Insanely jealous.  

And if that's not normal, I'm not even going to admit that I secretly try to teach Weston how to put on mascara, just so I can see what it looks like.

Girly Man

Oops -- was I supposed to post in February?
(I used to think I would be posting great, entertaining things several times a week.  Then I told myself that I had to entertain the world at least once a month.  Then I sat down on the couch and didn't get off for a year.)



My son thinks I'm the bees knees.
He loves to use my makeup brushes and put on headbands and wear my shoes.
He also puts on lotion and hair product and swings his hips when he walks.

Josh does not like.
If Weston gets any more girly, I think Josh will secretly try to give him up for adoption without me knowing.

But I think it's cute.